The next governor of Alabama

So by now I’m sure you’ve probably heard all about Charles Barkley’s DUI arrest from earlier this week. So because he’s in the news, and because I’m rapidly losing interest in the Falcons-Cardinals game, this strikes me as a great time to throw together a list of my ten favorite Charles Barkley quotes.

10. Ernie Johnson: "Did you graduate from Auburn?" Charles: "No, but I have a couple people working for me who did."

9. "If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."

8. "Professional athletes should not be role models. Hell, I know drug dealers who can dunk. Can drug dealers be role models too?"

7. "I don’t think I run my mouth. That’s just what redneck sportswriters say when you voice an opinion they disagree with. And I don’t think I’m someone who gets in trouble. If someone throws a drink in my face, I’m gonna defend my damn self."

6. "I don't listen to the refs. I don't listen to anyone who makes less money than I do."

5. "This is my schedule: I wake up in the morning, decide where to play golf and drink beer all day."

4. On the Enron scandal investigation: "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool."

3. "I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I've got a technique. It's called just go get the damn ball."

2. "I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."

1. "All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine."

I really hope they let Sir Charles stay on TV.