Seriously everyone, baseball starts soon. Real baseball, not the WBC, not grapefruit and cactus leagues, not A-Rod or Clemens or McNamee, the good kind of baseball. Baseball is really cool, and has been for more than a century. During that time people have been saying cool things about baseball. I’ve put together a list of my 26 favorite non-Yogi Berra quotes. Why 26? If you’re reading this you already know the answer to that.
26. The whole history of baseball has the quality of mythology – Bernard Malamud
25. Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher in baseball. He is always pitching when the other team doesn’t score any runs. – Tim McCarver, back before he became unbearable
24. The screwball's an unnatural pitch. Nature never intended a man to turn his hand like that throwing rocks at a bear. – Carl Hubbell. This quote is doubly important, because it underscores the threat that bears represent.
23. He (Darryl Strawberry) is not a dog; a dog is loyal and runs after balls. – Tommy Lasorda. Fuck the Mets. All of them, ever, except for Tug and the Dude. But yeah, fuck the rest of them.
22. No matter what I talk about, I always get back to baseball. – Connie Mack. Yeah, me too.
21. Some of these guys wear beards to make them look intimidating, but they don't look so tough when they have to deliver the ball. Their abilities and their attitudes don't back up their beards. – Don Drysdale. The last sentence there just seemed absurd.
20. Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday's success or put its failures behind and start over again. That's the way life is, with a new game every day, and that's the way baseball is. – Bob Feller. Kinda uplifting.
19. When I began playing the game, baseball was about as gentlemanly as a kick in the crotch. – Ty Cobb. How angry would Ty Cobb have been if he had played in the 80s and was just snorting mountains of coke all the time?
18. It's such a beautiful sport, with no politics involved, no color, no class. Only as a youngster can you play and as a pro can you win. The game has kept me young, involved and excited and for me to be up here with gems of baseball – Jack Buck. So much better than Joe Buck.
17. Washington – first in war, first in peace, last in the American League. – Charles Dryden. Classic.
16. If they worked as hard at their jobs as I do at mine, this country wouldn’t have the inflation problem it has now. - Mike Marshall, on booing fans.
15. I like radio better than television because if you make a mistake on radio, they don't know. You can make up anything on the radio. – Phil Rizzuto. He was a cool guy.
14. The kid doesn't chew tobacco, smoke, drink, curse or chase broads. I don't see how he can possible make it. – Richie Ashburn. Also a cool guy.
13. People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring. ~Rogers Hornsby. Also, he tries to make Tom Hanks cry.
12. I think I was the best baseball player I ever saw. – Willie Mays. I love the ego here. I also love that it’s probably true.
11. Anybody who's ever had the privilege of seeing me play knows that I am the greatest pitcher in the world. – Dizzy Dean. Again, pure ego. Less true though, unless he said this in 1934, cause that year he probably was the best pitcher in the world. Except for Satchell Paige.
10. Since 1946, the Cubs have had two problems: They put too few runs on the scoreboard and the other guys put too many. So what is new management improving? The scoreboard. – George Will. I don’t care if it makes me a bad person, I love that the Cubs have sucked for so long.
9. Baseball becomes dull only to those with dull minds. Today’s game is always different from yesterday’s game. – Red Smith. Seriously, baseball is so cool.
8. Ninety percent I’ll probably spend on good times, women, and Irish whiskey. The other ten percent I’ll probably waste. – Tug McGraw. Yeah.
7. I remember one time going out to the mound to talk with Bob Gibson. He told me to get back behind the batter, that the only thing I knew about pitching was it was hard to hit. – Tim McCarver. I love Tim McCarver being put in his place.
6. Sure, I screwed up that sacrifice bunt, but look at it this way: I’m a better bunter than a billion Chinese. Those poor suckers can’t bunt at all. – John Lowenstein. But seriously, if you’re in the majors you need to be able to bunt. Come on.
5. In the end it all comes down to talent. You can talk all you want about intangibles, I just don't know what that means. Talent makes winners, not intangibles. Can nice guys win? Sure, nice guys can win - if they're nice guys with a lot of talent. Nice guys with a little talent finish fourth and nice guys with no talent finish last. – Sandy Koufax. But what about David Eckstein?
4. It is the sport that a foreigner is least likely to take to. You have to grow up playing it, you have to accept the lore of the bubble-gum card, and believe that if the answer to the Mays-Snider-Mantle question is found, then the universe will be a simpler and more ordered place. – David Halberstam. ‘Merica.
3. He was thrown out trying to steal second; his head was full of larceny but his feet were honest. - Arthur “Bugs” Baer. I just love this one. It makes me laugh every time I see or hear it.
2. You always get a special kick on opening day, no matter how many you go through. You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen. – Joe DiMaggio. I can’t wait.
1. Yeah:
Stick to baseball, 8/15/26.
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