Showing posts with label 'Merica. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 'Merica. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

American Exceptionalism

There is no such thing as American Exceptionalism, at least not right now. I'll probably never win a Republican nomination for anything now, but it had to be said. For the last few years, demagogues and political agitators on the right have been repeating the chorus that America and Americans are great simply because of where they are from. It's this line of thinking that has fucked our country, and while there may be short term fixes, nothing has been done to stop the underlying decline of American society.

In the early nineteenth century many of the elements of the nascent American society were vastly different from the rest of the world. And America was better. The United States liberated itself from the colonial system before anyone else; as South America, Africa, and most of Asia were struggling under European domination, the United States was growing, fueled by innovations that the rest of the world was unable to pursue.

As steam power and the seeds of industrialization were taking root in the United States, the rest of the world was struggling to emerge from chaos. Europe was consistently embroiled in continent-wide warfare and revolution, South and Central America were struggling for independence, and Africa and Asia were still being stripped of their resources and ravaged by European colonizers. As progress was stagnate in the rest of the world, America alone drove forward, taming a continent, harvesting its resources, and reinvesting those resources to propel further development. By the start of the twentieth century, the United States had essentially established hegemony over the Western Hemisphere, and was poised to overtake and dominate Western Europe.

Of course things were not perfect, and travesties like slavery continue to be a blight on American history. But seemingly all of America's flaws were met by people pushing for progress and improvements, not only for themselves, but for others. Abolitionist and suffrage movements worked to undo two of the most heinous forms of discrimination the US has ever seen. Frederick Douglass, Abraham Lincoln, and Susan B. Anthony have all been immortalized for the work they did to give others a better life.

With such a fast and dramatic rise to power, it's difficult not to assume some degree of American Exceptionalism so, starting with de Toqueville, that's what people did. They saw that America was different, recognizing the absence of extremism and divisiveness in American politics, that America had limited the role of religions in society, and that feudalism and aristocracies had been replaced by a society that permitted, and even encouraged, upward mobility. In looking at the United States, nineteenth century observers saw a haven for immigrants, a country that offered opportunities to people from all over the globe, integrated them into society, and benefited enormously from their contributions. Knowledge and education were admired and sought; without them, the United States would not have been at the forefront of innovation for such a long time. Edison, Bell, Einstein and the Wright Brothers are all products of this. In the nineteenth century, America was exceptional; not inherently so, but because its people did exceptional things.
This continued into the twentieth century, as America became the most dominant nation on the planet. Fascism, Communism, and Japanese Imperialism all fell to American innovation, manufacturing, and technology. Enormous strides were made in the fields of genetics and computer science. Nuclear power was developed and harnessed. Shit, over forty years ago we put Americans on the moon; no one else has even tried since.

Unfortunately, in recent years America has ceased to be exceptional, because Americans have stopped trying to be exceptional. Instead of trying to be great, people are now trying to star in Teen Mom. The attributes that first made the United States great are largely absent now.

While American politics are not nearly as radicalized as in some other countries, we're rapidly trending in that direction. Compromise and conversation are being replaced by a terrifying polarization, and moderate voices are being drowned out by greedy, attention-starved politicians and their shouts of incitement to ever-more-extreme political bases.

The Establishment Clause is slowly becoming a relic of the eighteenth century, as Christians are trying to integrate their dogma with the American government. More and more schools across the country are teaching Intelligent Design in science classes, at the expense of actual science. Freedoms are being inhibited because of a sentence in the book of Leviticus and the nebulous, borderline hilarious (and very recent) concept of the sanctity of marriage.

For really the first time in American history, an aristocracy has emerged, headed by corporations (they're people now!) and their enablers, who don't see their rampaging greed as a flaw. This aristocracy, from both sides of the aisle, is shaping the nation's agenda for its own benefit and entrenchment; wealth is being concentrated in fewer and fewer hands, the middle class is disappearing, and the idea of upward mobility is being transformed from a dream to an impossibility.

Immigrants are no longer seen as a resource; as fences go up and nativism surges, new ideas are not given a chance to contribute anything of value. Hatred and fear of outsiders have sharply curbed the benefits we can derive from them; people all over the world still want to come to America, and we're turning them, and the progress they might bring, away.

While racism was never fully driven out of American culture, it seems to have experienced a revival in the last few years. For the first time in almost 250 years, the President of the United States is an African American; while this is unquestionably progress on the path to racial equality, the backsliding that has accompanied Obama's election is far from encouraging. No white President ever had to endure such a sizable minority of the country doubting that he was really American, or insinuating that he was secretly a Muslim (and who cares if he is?). All three branches of government have been complicit in the widespread discrimination against Muslims in the last ten years.

Those problems, this failing of American Exceptionalism, are almost entirely the result of decisions made by those who have already had their moment in the spotlight. The much greater problem, and the reason that America is, at best, decades away from recapturing any sort of exceptionalism, is the coming generations. Kids are fucking stupid, and at times is seems like that is encouraged. Vast portions of the country have embraced an anti-intellectual attitude; I cannot think of a worse way to decide who to vote for than "who would I rather have a beer with." Sarah Palin, who isn't even competent to be a student government president, and other politicians have ridden this wave of ignorance to political prominence and celebrity.

Fortunately in the case of Palin, but unfortunately in the case of millions of young people all over the country, most people are drawn much more towards the trappings of celebrity than having a prominent position in society based on achievement. People strive for fame as its own end, rather than the byproduct of an actual accomplishment. A century ago, the Wright Brothers became famous for inventing the airplane. Today, Paris Hilton is famous for having a rich grandfather and blowing some guy in night vision. We're doing things backwards; Neil deGrasse Tyson should be a household name, and Kim Kardashian shouldn't be. But NASA's budget is minuscule and shrinking, teachers everywhere are being laid off, and engineering jobs are being outsourced, not because foreign engineers are cheaper, but because they're smarter. America is falling behind so many countries, even some developing countries, in math and science. Coupled with drastic reductions in arts education, pretty soon we're not going to be good at anything.

As bleak as this looks, American Exceptionalism isn't dead, just dormant, and it can be revived. But that won't happen if people continue to see it as a birthright; America will only be exceptional again if people realize, like Americans 200 years ago did, that exceptionalism is something that needs to be earned. But who wants to do that while The Jersey Shore is on?

Who Told You What This Means?

It seems enrollment in the University of Sarah Palin Online history department has really taken off.

A small northern Indiana college has decided to stop playing "The Star-Spangled Banner" at sporting events after starting to do so for the first time last year.

First off, very clearly written sentence. It appears the editors of theindychannel.com hold English degrees from the University of Sarah Palin Online.

Goshen College's board of directors said it will find an alternative that honors the country and the Mennonite Church-affiliated school's pacifist traditions.

The 1,000-student college has been playing an instrumental version of the national anthem, followed by a peace prayer, before games and other events.

OK, people protesting the National Anthem because we're at war. Been going on for years. All we need to do is call up Anna Benson and she'll straighten them out.

Some were upset with the school's decision last year because the song's lyrics contain references to using war and military might to defend the country.

Uh...ex-squeeze me?

If you wanna protest American jinogism, have at it. You are, by many accounts a) probably correct in your indignation towards American foreign policy and b) perfectly within your rights as an American in this freedom-loving land.

But get your facts straight. The lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner are pretty much just an account of the ass blasting the Baltimore Harbor was receiving from the British, and subsequent adjulation that, beyond any reasonable expectation, there was more than a few smoldering embers still there come dawn.

We've done a lot of terrible things in the years since Francis Scott Key wrote that long, rhetorical question we call our national anthem, and that stanza, in my mind, is pretty unobjectionable by comparison. If you're looking for an expression of American militarism to protest, this just isn't it.

But this might be.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Just Say the Word..

Ok. This one really pisses me off.

You can fire missiles into the Sea of Japan for a while before I really get pissed, though I certainly don't like it as is. But why the fuck is anybody still tolerating this?

Firing a missile on path for Hawai'i on July 4th? Fuck you very much. Why hasn't someone put that Munchkin understudy in his place?

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Mama Don't Let Your Baby Grow Up to Be a Country Music Fan: A Country-Work Orange

I've put this off for too long. Tonight is the night.

As a self-obsessed person, it bothers me on some level when I'm guided solely by instinct; I have too high of a regard for my intellect to believe that it can be over-ridden all nimbly bimbly all the time. And as far as I can tell, my instinct is to hate country music.

I'm sure that there are many adequate reasons to hate country music, but I can never put my finger on them. There are obviously very distinct attributes to the genre, but what troubles me is that for every trait of a country song that I complain about I can think of a song that I love that embodies the same trait. For every song with stupid lyrics, I'll show you a Weird Al song that I still like. For every predictable convention, I'll show you the 90s playlists on my iTunes. And above all, I love the Allman Brothers. I must figure out what really bothers me.

Tonight, I will do what few who hail from the Northeastern United States have ever done - - I will listen to country music for an indefinite amount of time without a break.

There are several possible outcomes here:

1) My ears may bleed. I'm prepared. My girlfriend is an audiologist and she's on speed dial.

2) I will discover nothing. Very likely. I might just quit. Time will tell.

3) I will win a Nobel Prize. Also likely. My article will revolutionize not only how we view country music, but how we conceive of consciousness.

4) I will grow to like country music. This unfortunate side-effect may occur. But just like the anal leakage that occurs from some prescription drugs, I'm willing to undergo this fate. In the name of science, of course.

I have chosen to listen to KAFF Country. This station has been chosen for it's current popularity (it broadcasts on both FM and AM frequencies out of Flagstaff, AZ) and since it tells me the name of the artist and the title of the song.

I will begin my study as soon as I get back with a stiff drink.

Song: Sideways
Artist: Dierks Bentley
Brief Description: Upbeat, power chords, electric guitar, standard song composition with verses, chorus, and bridge. Nothing disagreeable upfront.
Chorus:
And it’s hey now here we go.
DJ don’t you play nothing slow
Keep those girls out on the floor
Gotta make them want to come back for more.
Been here since the sun went down,
Be here when it comes back around
Worked all week it’s time to play
Gonna get a little bit sideways…
Sideways.
Comparable song(s) that I sort of like: Maybe a little bit of DMB's worst stuff in there, I could definitely feel a Kid Rock or Uncle Kracker vibe. And those are not good things.
Why I hate it: This one's lyrics based: the idea that we should celebrate Southern "culture". Of course, there's a reference to blue jeans. Of course there's red necks fighting in the parking lot. And talking to the DJ in a song went out with Kool and the Gang.


Song: Something's Gotta Give
Artist: Leann Rimes
Brief Description: Obviously female vocals. Pronounced fiddle and major chords with acoustic guitar.
Comparable Song(s) that I like: Nothing. Nothing at all. I guess maybe Devil Went Down to Georgia because of the fiddle, but that dude was way better on the fiddle than this ass hat.
Why I hate it: Something's gotta give?! When the title is a cliche, it already smells like hackneyed crap. In the first verse (and repeated thereafter) our female protagonist thought she would have a minivan by the time she had "31 candles on her birthday cake." Those are rockstar ambitions alright.


Song: Smalltown USA
Artist: Justin Moore
Brief Description: This song is the enemy.
Comparable Song(s) that I like: It sounds like a shittier version of God Bless the USA. Sort of like Black Sheep was for Tommy Boy.
Chorus:
Give me a Saturday night my baby by my side
A little Hank Jr. and a six pack of lights
Old dirt road and ill be just fine
Give me a Sunday morning that full of grace
A simple life and I'll be okay
Here in small town USA
Why I hate it: This is the quintessential country song. Over-the-top lyrics and message. The twang is unbearable. I imagine this is what plays on the beat-up boombox while Rednecks are putting up their make-shift border fences.

Song: One in Every Crowd
Artist: Montgomery Gentry
Brief Description: Somewhat funny song about the asshole friend in every group out at a bar. Nothing remarkable from a musical standpoint. Acoustic guitar and splashy cymbals.
Comparable Song(s) that I like: Nothing really sounds like it, but they do make references to Lynard Skynard for whom I do have a taste. Hmm.
Why I hate it: "There's one in every crowd, and it's usually me." That's the last line of the chorus. It's an uninspired version of "I've got Friends in Low Places." It's predictable and fails at being funny for an audience of moderate intelligence.

Song: Runaway
Artist: Love and Theft
Brief Description: The band name sounds like an album title. In fact it would be a pretty good album title. It's a typical formula, complete with the staccato snare drum fill before the chorus kicks in. Meh.
Chorus:
And pack my bags and never look back
Run a parallel line with the railroad tracks, make my getaway
Ill put the pedal to the metal as the sun goes down
Leave everybody sleepin in this sleepy town tonight
And at the break of day, Ill be a runaway

Comparable Song(s) that I like: It's a poor man's 3 Doors Down, in a way. But the lyrics and vocals were much more powerful from 3 Doors Down's first album, and they're only mediocre.
Why I hate it: I'm starting to pick up on a theme: the music itself sucks. When the vocals comprise the top part of the chord for more than the end of the song, I'm out. I want no part of this. The obvious troublesome comparison for this theory is Journey: I've got a super-gay love for "Don't Stop Believing." But I know that song to be just as distasteful for some as country is for me. Otherwise, if you're playing the fiddle and not melting someone's face or I can tell what's going to happen in your song while I'm hearing it for the first time, just stop.

Oh good, the KAFF country quiz (does it say something that they play Jazz during the dead air time on their internet station?). Good time to break and analyze that last chorus, which was a doozy.

Gonna pack my bags and never look back
"Pack my bags" has to be the most over-used, thinly-veiled metaphor for leaving in all of country music. I've heard it no less than 3 times in this short listening.

Run a parallel line with the railroad tracks, make my getaway
Well this seems ill-advised. Why run next to the tracks when you can just jump on? Use your head, kid.

Ill put the pedal to the metal as the sun goes down
So now we're driving? I thought we were just running parallel to the tracks? Why were you running in the first place if you had a car? Again, this is a poor getaway. And why are you leaving as the sun goes down? What happened to cover of darkness.?Everyone's gonna know you left dude!

Song: A Real Fine Place to Start
Artist: Sarah Evans
Brief Description: If country music is like a bad night at the theater, female vocals in a country song is like being trapped in a burning theater while seeing Cats for the 5th time.
Comparable Song(s) that I like: I think I covered this one above.
Why I hate it: I feel like I heard this song the last time some ugly harpy came through my headphones. We're at the cock-rock power guitar solo. Just look at these lyrics:

Holdin' you close, chasin' that moon.
spinnin' all night,
lovin' just who you are:
sparks flyin' in the dark.
shootin' out lights, huntin' down dreams,
figurin' out what love really means:
baby givin' you my heart,
is a real fine place to start.

The first lines are bad, but not unreasonably bad. I'll let them go.

Shootin out lights, huntin' down dreams
The letter g must feel so unappreciated in the South.

And shooting out lights must be running up your electric bill. We're in a recession. Act like it.

It's a real fine place to start
Not surprisingly, I have a semantic disagreement here. Ostensibly finding true love is a real fine place to start? Ok, then where is this start taking you? If most heart-sick girls dream of "true love" as you just described it, Ms. Evans, where do you hope we go from here?

You're being unreasonable and greedy and I won't stand for it.

Billy Joel is always my go-to counter-example to demonstrate useless lyrics. This is no different. More on that below.

Song: Since I Quit Drinkin'
Artist: Toby Keith
Brief Description: I actually laughed at this one. Maybe it's because I'm an alcoholic, who knows? The guy quits drinking and soon finds his wife to be intolerable. Not necessarily inventive, but not unfunny either.
Comparable Song(s) that I like: Maybe a funny Irish Pub Song like the Chandeler's Shop.
Why I hate it: This still isn't a song I can ever see myself listening to regularly. It sounds like a song I would laugh at on vacation, maybe listen to a time or two when I got back home, but would soon forget about and would never pay to own.

Theme of hatred #2: The emphasis on the mundane. We've seen people who long to drive minivans. We've heard the description of a typical Saturday night out, and heard the love of "a little grace on Sunday mornings." And now, all the humor in this song derives from household chores. I don't need to hear about your boring-ass life, even if you're making fun of how boring it is. It's boring; don't tell me about it.

Let's take a look at Billy Joel. "Piano Man" is also a song about a Saturday night at a bar. It also features some of the most genius lyrics of all time. Instead of "there's a guy playing piano and drinking a beer," "the piano sounds like a carnival, and the microphone smells like a beer." The old man doesn't get nostalgic about when there were "31 candles on his cake," but rather "when [he] wore a younger man's clothes." And it doesn't get more poetic than "they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone."

You're a country singer- the ugly, abandoned step-child of the bard. At least pretend like you know what the word "poetry" means.

Song: Love Story
Artist: Taylor Swift
Brief Description: Starts with a plucking acoustic solo. This sounds like every female vocalist who's had any modicum of fame while my sisters have grown up and listened to the radio (Vanessa Carlton, JoJo, Michelle Branch, et al).
Comparable Song(s) that I like: [Blank stare]
Why I hate it: Theme of hatred #3: Predictability. Ok, the formula has proven to sell. I get it. Many find it enjoyable, if not palatable. Fine. But in this short session of shit, I have gotten to the point where I have predicted drum fills, guitar riffs, key changes, and even lyrics. I am not a musician. This is a problem.

Song: I Can Sleep When I'm Dead
Artist: John Michael Carroll
Why I hate it: YES!!!! This is it! This is the end! It's got everything that I hate and I can finally liberate myself from this hell. It starts with a kitschy low voice and the chorus is obnoxiously high. And then it alternates! And here again we see the rogue, wandering, rough neck man trope that is all too common. Look at these fuckin' lyrics:

If there's somethin' goin' on within a hundred miles from home,
Ya gonna hear my V-8 sing
Long as I can beat the train and they got a passing lane,
Baby, I ain't gonna miss a thing
Life's too fun and I'm too young and the night ain't over yet
Like I said I can sleep when I'm dead

First off - - bullshit. There's no way anything all that interesting is going on within 100 miles of home every night; there's just not that much within 100 miles of your home in most of this country (coastal regions notwithstanding). I often drive more than 4 hours at a time throughout the Midwest and I don't pass anything that even resembles the sort of urban area where something would be going on. Your just lying to me, and I don't take kindly to that.

And why are we still so obsessed with trains in country music? Is it because they're easy to rhyme with? I understand the role of the train in 19th century America for the artist, but aren't we a little past that? And if you're a songwriter, don't you think we could get a little better at rhyming? I've got a sister in 1st grade who could tell you a thing or two about rhyming with "train."


I must walk away from what I fear has drawn me in too deeply. I'll boil this down to my three points:


Country music is...
1) Musically unappealing.
High vocals; twang; predictable, major chords; no virtuosity. Why bother? Not that this is any different with mainstream pop music, but then again, I don't listen to mainstream pop music either.

2) Where mundane shit abounds. I don't need to hear about you Tuesday afternoon.

3) Predictable. Everything sounds exactly the same. As far as I can gather, there are three types of country songs: the sappy girl-singing love song; the sappy boy-singing love song, and the up-beat, always-sung-by-a-man song about traveling or drinking.

And there you have it. Everything you need to know about country music. Any questions?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

More Specter Stuff

So for the most part, I’m pretty unabashedly liberal, except for when it comes to lobbing crusie missiles are third world countries. So I figured it would be only fair to see what the other side thinks about Specter’s change of party affiliation. I figured the best place to really find out what people thinks was the comment thread that FOX News thoughtfully provided for their mongoloid viewers.

Mike Q. says: Leaving a party because your ideology no longer matches that of your current party, fine. I see no problem with that. Leaving your party because you’re afraid you will lose an election is hypocritical and disingenuous. Despite Specter’s political rhetoric to the contrary, that’s what this smacks of.

Maybe. But why should Specter remain loyal to the Republican Party when the party has stopped being loyal to him?

PEslashPM says: The Republican party: R.I.P. 1854 ~ November 2008

God willing.

MERVYN says: REPUBLICANS OF PENNSYLVANIA NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO KICK THIS BUM OUT HE HAS ALWAYS OPPOSED THE TRUE ELEMENTS OF CONSERVATISM HE NEEDS TO GO NOW TOGETHER WITH HIS NEW FOUND ALLIES THE DEMOCRATS.

You know who else opposed the true elements of conservatism? The Republican Party. Also, why do people insist on writing in all caps? Is there some sort of computer virus that only affects the shift key? Don’t these people realize that it makes it impossible to take anything they write seriously?

Johanna says: Specter was a decent man who always won his elections with many Dem votes. If the Republicans want to become a “pure” party, and invite the Club for Growth to “weed out” those who are not “pure,” he was right to leave. Republicans have to decide whether to be a national political party or a small club of like-minded ideologues.

I doubt she is a frequent foxnews.com visitor. I liked her statement.

Warrenjh says: There will be more exodus in the GOP if they do not turn down rhetoric and be a party that is inclusive and not exclusive, People like Sean and Rush with a very narrow minded agenda is killing our party.

Yup, couldn’t agree more with Warren. There’s definitely value in a real conservative or libertarian approach to governing. The GOP has chosen to ignore that, focusing instead on hate, polarization, arrogance, and exclusion.

Ramon says: Arlen Specter should stay with his party and continue working on the Republican agenda until he is due for re-election. Voters from the Republican party were the ones that elected him in that office to work on the Republica agenda. He should only change parties when he is due up for re-election so the voters are aware of his political agenda.

I chose this one, even though there were a lot of people saying essentially the same thing, because Ramon managed to be somewhat coherent. Two things: parties are not up for election, people are. Republicans didn’t vote for the Republican Party, they voted for Arlen Specter. People who don’t consider the candidates, and only vote along party lines, or even worse along one issue (abortion) are terrible for democracy. Put some thought into your vote. Also, a lot of Democrats voted for Specter as well, and have voted for him for years. Finally, as Specter said, 200,000 Pennsylvania Republicans have changed their voter registration over the last year; by switching he is representing his constituency.

Eric says: Specter has always baffled me and angered me with his voting record. I say on one hand good bye, farewell. But he has chosen one of the worse times to leave that could hurt a party he had chosen to be a part of, just for his own gain. Not a man of integrity who can change and allign himself with those that desire to have it only their way, and stamp out the speech and vote of a party which tries to still represent the majority of our Country which desire morality, honor, In God we Trust, Marraige being of a man and woman. His decision could help sway many decisions that would change the things this Country was founded on, and for self preservation.

I really struggled to understand what Eric was saying here; I guess that’s one of the drawbacks of homeschooling. If I’m interpreting this correctly, though, he’s saying that our country was founded on “morality, honor, in God we trust, [and] marriage being of a man and woman,” and that by changing parties he’s jeopardizing these things. Um, no. First of all, morality and honor are pretty subjective things, so you can’t really say that one party is more honorable or moral than the other. As for in God we trust, that was added to money in the fifties; it’s not a principle our country was founded on, it’s Cold War propaganda. Finally, the country wasn’t founded on the principle that marriage was between a man and a woman. There’s nothing anywhere that suggests that. And for the love of God, don’t point to the Bible.

Diane says: He’s a Red Coat, a worm, don’t let the door hit you on your way out Spector !

What the hell? Is it 1773 again? She really called him a redcoat.

Kent says: I agree with J S Cros. Sphincter should have to resign his seat, obviously he doesn’t care for his constituents who voted for him. Especially those that voted for him based on him being affiliated with the GOP.

I think I already addressed what this guy thinks. I’m pointing this out because he called Specter “Sphincter.” See, FOX got upset by all the teabagging jokes, but really I think they were upset that they didn’t think of them first. Really, immaturity crosses party lines.

Mark says: hey – do you hear a sucking sound? Must be the GOP.
John P says: Your wrong about the origins of that sucking sound. It’s coming from Barney Frank’s office.

See! Told ya.

DAN says: We`re not going anywhere ant. We will take this country back from you leftist trash by force if we have to. Keep up your leftist propaganda and watch what happens.

The south will rise again? People like DAN make that warning of right-wing extremists seem prescient.

Milt from CA says: And another thing…Arlen, YOU are as responsible for the monstrous increase in the deficit as is barack hussein osuma. You’ve been showing your liberal colors for years but voting in favor of Porkulus was your ultimate coming-out-of-the-closet-in-your-mind moment. Good riddance.

I agree, Specter is just as responsible as Obama for the deficit. Neither of them is nearly as responsible as Bush, though.

Jules says: Sylvie; you have got to be black.

What the hell? This was just there in the middle of the page, not as a reply to anything. I’m a little bit curious.

Bob Runninger says: Since he is a Progressive Republican at heart he is in good company with the other Progressives. We don’t need his whining in the Republican Party.

Yeah, fuck progress!

Ken Miller says: Good by and good ridence

Ken used four words, and managed to spell two of them incorrectly. I would bet a decent amount of money that he spelled his name wrong.

Independent Thinker says: I think it is great that Specter is switching, it shows that he is a man of conviction and does not want to remain in a right-wing extremist party.
Before the Republican Party became so radical and extremist, Specter probably felt quite at home in the the GOP, but now many moderate Republicans like him are becoming very uncomfortable and do not want to support the Taliban-like agenda of the GOP.

YOU GET WHAT YOU VOTED FOR says: You were dropped on your head as a baby, Right?

So the first guy gives a thoughtful response. The reply? Not so much.

Chris Gallimore says: Specter has been a useless piece of sh#t for years. Good riddance. With rinos like him, Snowe and Collins Bush couldn’t get his agenda through even when the republicans had a majority. Republicans will not be the majority again if they continue presenting themselves as democrat lite.

Well, then thank God for Snowe, Collins, and Specter. There’s been an awful lot of hatred on these forums directed at Snowe and Collins, and I don’t really get it. Why are Republicans trying to marginalize people? It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

Last one:

FLOYD says: When 2010 comes around we going to have clean house , and we well. I just hope spector when he stands before his maker has a good excusue for turning his back on moral princples and backing a groupd of cheats and murders.

I hope when FLOYD stands before his maker God throws a dictionary at his face. FLOYD is way too representative of the people posting here. I should have known what I was getting myself into when I went to foxnews.com. I can feel brain cells dying. I need to stop.

Arlen Specter is cooler than you

As you may have heard by now, Arlen Specter has decided to switch parties, leaving the GOP to run for reelection in 2010 as a Democrat. In the short term, this gives the Democrats 59 seats in the Senate, which will become 60 once Norm Coleman recognizes the inevitable and Al Franken is seated. In the long term, it sets up a potential Toomey-Specter rematch, this time in the general election.

Sen. Specter’s decision to switch parties will have a broad range of consequences. First, it eventually give the Democrats a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate, allowing them to pass pretty much any bill they want. Or, more accurately, any bill that Specter wants passed. In the statement he released today, Specter emphasized that his loyalty was to the people in Pennsylvania he represents and to the country, not to any one party. He has shown a willingness to cross party lines in the past, most notably when he broke from the Republican caucus earlier this hear to support President Obama’s stimulus package. While Democrats are hopeful that this will enable them to steamroll any filibuster, this outlook may be too optimistic; despite changing his party affiliations, I don’t expect Specter to blindly follow Harry Reid’s lead.

Nevertheless, this is still pretty bad news for the Republican Party. After having gotten their asses kicked in elections across the board in 2008, the Republicans are in desperate need of reaching out to moderates, as Reagan was able to do in 1980. Bush was a historically bad President, and the Democrats were able to largely run against him and his record; Republicans can’t bank on Obama being as trailblazingly terrible, and will need to get support for their own policies and initiatives, not just an anti-Obama movement. To do this, they’re going to need to reach out and attract voters who leaned to the left in ’08, if not Democrats then at least independents. Specter’s defection is a blow to this; if one of the more moderate Republicans is leaving the party as it swings dangerously towards the right, how can they hope to attract other moderates? As Specter stated in his press release, over the past year 200,000 Pennsylvanians have switched registration from the GOP to the Democratic Party; Specter’s defection will not likely stem this tide, but rather could possibly even enhance it.

Republicans have, predictably, come out attacking Specter, choosing to cast his decision as a move based on self-preservation rather than a reaction to the failings of their party. Michael Steele, Lindsey Graham, and others seem to have taken it for granted that Specter would lose in the 2010 primary election to Pat Toomey, whom he is currently trailing in polls of likely GOP primary voters. Specter was able to hold off a challenge from Toomey in 2004, but as the Republican Party has swung to the right he has been isolated in the center, vulnerable to a primary challenge. By joining the Democrat caucus, he has a much easier road to reelection; while I don’t know for certain, it would not surprise me if his defection were conditional on having the full support of the Democratic Party not only in the 2010 general election, but against any primary challengers. And in a general election against Pat Toomey, Specter should have very little difficulty; in 2006 the conservative Democrat Bob Casey massacred the nauseatingly-conservative Rick Santorum, and I see no reason a Specter-Toomey showdown would be any less one sided. I’m going to vote for him.

Things I've been thinking about while not writing

Is there any better way to start a post than by talking about dinosaurs? Nope, didn’t think so. TIME has an article online about how they died, adding another voice to the chorus of people claiming that an asteroid was not responsible for the mass extinction of the dinosaurs. This article doesn’t really offer an alternative theory, but does present a lot of geological evidence in support of its thesis. I guess this adds weight to the volcano theory, which the geologists mention towards the end of the article as a possibility.

In her most recent online column, Ann Coulter continues to show how, um, special she is. She attacks Manhattan for being “traitorous,” attacks Janet Napolitano for warning against right wing extremists, and, in my favorite statement of this week, describes liberals as having “absolutely no morals and yet are ferociously judgmental.” Now, I could go on probably forever about how this last sentence is a pretty clear case of the pot calling the kettle black, but that wouldn’t show just how terrible a person Coulter is. Instead, I’m just going to tell you what this article was about. You’re probably thinking it’s got something to do with homeland security, probably that warning that was sent out across the country warning about conservative radicals. Well, you’re wrong. It’s her obituary to her mother. She fills it with so much hate and anger directed towards Democrats it’s just scary. I think something might be wrong with her.

After last night, I kinda feel bad for any baseball fan that isn’t also a Phillies fan. Seriously, this team is amazing; last night’s game just gives further evidence of that. The Phils got terrible pitching from their starter, Joe Blanton, and fell behind early. But then Ryan Howard launched a grand slam, tying the game at six. The Phils fell behind again, and again came back to tie it at seven. Then Scott Eyre came in to pitch the eighth inning, and all hell broke loose, leaving the Fightins down four after seven and a half. But the most fun team in baseball wouldn’t put up with that nonsense. Pedro Feliz, who didn’t start the game, got the rally going, and hits by Rollins and Utley followed, along with a sac fly by Victorino. Howard and Werth both walked, bring Raul Ibanez to the plate with the Phils down two. He got a first pitch fastball and unloaded on it, sending a line drive over the wall in right field for another grand slam. Madson came in and shut down the Nats, getting the save. All but one of the Phillies’ wins this year have been come from behind; in their sweep of that Marlins this weekend they won two games which they trailed heading into the ninth. It’s incredible; they’re getting terrible pitching and still finding ways to win. It’s just such a fun team to watch.

In other sports stuff, the Ducks knocked the Sharks out of the playoffs. What’s Joe Thornton’s deal? Even going back to his time in Boston, his teams tore it up in the regular season, but once the postseason started they just got steamrolled. It’s almost starting to make the trade that sent him to San Jose defensible from the Bruin’s perspective. Chicago beat the Flames, knocking them out of the playoffs; they’ll go on to play the Canucks, and the winner of that matchup will go on to lose to the Red Wings, who look absolutely unstoppable. Two game sevens tonight, with the New York Sean Averys looking to avoid choking away their series against the Caps, and Martin Brodeur looking to hold off the Hurricanes, who have looked surprisingly good. Both games should be interesting, if the Rangers don’t fold in the first ten minutes. Also, I’m sure some basketball stuff happened last night.

Alright, swine flu. What’s the deal with this? People are flipping out all over the place, Matt Drudge predictably fanned the flames over the weekend, and the number of reported cases in America is in double digits now. But are people actually dying from this? I mean, I understand that this is killing people in Mexico, but that’s a third world country without really any hospitals. We’re better than that. CNN has a story about a teenager from New York who had swine flu, popped two Tamiflu pills, and is fine now. So let’s stop flipping out about this; just wash your hands, stay away from Mexico, and stop whining. Also, if you’re Rush Limbaugh, stop blaming this on Obama. Seriously.

My favorite story in a really long time is this one from the Huffington Post. Yep, conservatives actually believe that Stephen Colbert is also a conservative. This is so incredibly dumb I just don’t know how to react to it. Seriously, I had to read that article like three times. I’m pretty sure that the people who believe Colbert is a conservative had ancestors who were eating babies in Ireland in the beginning of the eighteenth century.

Some Polish pianist is making waves today after he went on an anti-American rant at a concert in LA Sunday night, leading people to walk out of the concert. The guy is pissed that the US is installing a missile defense shield in Poland, because evidently he is in favor of a nuclear holocaust. The guy said he would never perform in the United States again. Good, I hope he never comes back. Fuck him.

The British are kicking a druid out of Stonehenge, though the guy has been living there since last June. Whatever, go for it. The only cool part about this is the guy’s name. It used to be John Rothwell, but in 1976 he had it legally changed to King Arthur Pendragon. The guy is clearly crazy, but that’s just an awesome name.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Brief Thoughts

I’m done my brief, 4600 words. I’m pretty sure that my guy is gonna win. Whatever. On to more important things.

The Governor of Texas is in way over his head. Secession? Really? That worked out so well the first time, didn’t it. Honestly, I’m excited about it too, and really hope they go through with it. First of all, I think America would be a better place without the Lone Star State. Too many evangelicals there. Second, and most importantly, if Texas secedes, I’m pretty sure there would be a zombie outbreak. In fact, I’m certain of it. If Texas leaves the Union again, Andrew Jackson will rise from the dead an lead an army of zombies on a rampage all the way to the Rio Grande, not stopping until he hangs or eats the brains of every secessionist down there, starting with Rick Perry.

A couple days ago a statement was made public warning about right wing extremists. This, naturally, made the right wing extremists flip out. But, uh, the more they flip out, the closer they get to doing the things that the government was warning about. Facist-leaning Republicans seem to struggle with irony. And common sense.

Oh, and they don’t really have a sense of humor either. Fox News has a really bitchy article up about how CNN and MSNBC weren’t respectful enough of their contrived tax day protest. Evidently when Sean Hannity and whoever else came up with their idiotic tea party idea, they didn’t consult any high school sophomores, who would have exposed the obvious flaw. So CNN and MSNBC did their duty as proud American institutions and made the obligatory teabagging jokes. I think that some guy named David Shuster wins the prize for most awesome mockery of Fox News and this whole endeavor, saying, "Teabagging day for the right wing and they are going nuts for it, " followed by "They want to give President Obama a strong tongue-lashing and lick government spending." You think that Fox News would catch on to the mockery, and maybe adapt, but they haven’t. In the middle of the article there is an invitation to join the forums and comment about this whole debacle. The link reads, “Click here to join the discussion on teabagging.” I swear I didn’t make any of this up.

Even Ann Coulter weighed in on this teabagging discussion, acting every bit as sanctimonious as Fox News, but with more jokes about Barney Frank. As an aside, can someone explain to me why I read Ann Coulter’s web site? I thought I was better than that. But even though I read her regularly, I can’t remember I got all the way through one of her postings; it seems every week there’s a paragraph that makes my head hurt so much I need to jump over to youtube and watch Bobby Orr highlights until the pain goes away. This week the line was, “Obama's biggest shortcoming is that he believes the things believed by all Democrats, which have had devastating consequences every time they are put into effect.” What the hell? Was Clinton’s Presidency so devastating? Certainly it wasn’t as bad as Bush’s time in office (pick whichever Bush you prefer, neither was any good). Seriously, how does she get away with making such absurd claims.

Getting back to this whole secession thing, just because it baffles me, and it’s still a big deal, people are now polling Texans about a couple of the issues here. I’m like to interpret these numbers for you. 31% of Texas voters say their state has the right to secede. From this, it stands to reason that 31% of Texas voters are mildly retarded. This figure may be low, however, because I sincerely doubt that most Texans know what the word “secede” means. 18% of Texas voters say that they would vote to leave the Union; these are more likely than not the same people that were trumpeting the phrase “’Merica! Love it or leave it!” over the last eight years. Clearly these Texans don’t love America, which must make them terrorists. You’re either with us or against us.

If Dmitry Medvedev were an American, he would vote Republican, live in Texas, watch Fox News, and probably have a lifesize cutout of Bill O’Reilly in his bedroom. But he’s not, he’s a Russian. And he’s warning NATO not to run any war games in Georgia. So, if I follow his logic, it’s ok to invade Georgia and kill a shit ton of people there, but having a military exercise in the country is way out of line. Weird.

One more Republican I don’t like (can you tell that there aren’t any stories about outer space or dinosaurs) is Norm Coleman, the guy who lost the Minnesota Senate race to Al Franken, but won’t go away. Seriously, this guy, when it seemed like he was winning, said that Franken should concede so Minnesota could be properly represented. (He really did say something like this, I just don’t feel like looking up where; if you don’t believe me look it up for yourself.) Naturally, he’s now losing, has been for months, but won’t concede. He’s pretty much burned up all his state court options, and now he’s gonna introduce a suit in federal court. I don’t think he’ll win, because, quite simply, fewer people voted for him than voted for Franken, but if it gets to the Supreme Court all bets are off; Franken could win by thousands of votes in Minnesota, but when he loses by one in Washington (and he will), he’ll be screwed.

Finally, I’m going to just briefly throw out my two cents on the debate about LeBron James that is raging over at our sister-blog, www.dauerism.wordpress.com. The Yankee hat thing doesn’t bother me, and I don’t care about all this talk about him eventually going to the Knicks. LeBron actually seems like a pretty good guy. But when his career and Dwayne Wade’s career are both over, I really want to be able to look back and say that, yeah, James was a much more talented player, but he’s no Dwayne Wade, and then point to the five NBA championships that Wade has won and the zero that James has. That would just be amusing.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Post-Easter Post

So lots of cool things have happened over the last couple of days, the most important of which is clearly the home run Matt Stairs hit to bring the Phillies to .500. It was majestic. But on to the other things.

The biggest story, in my eyes, at least, really just makes you think “America, fuck yeah!” When the Somali pirates captured an American ship, and took the captain hostage, you kinda figured they were getting in over their heads. I mean, it’s one thing to fuck with Danish or Panamanian ships; honestly, you can probably get away with that. But the US has a pretty badass navy, and a President who has to make known that he won’t put up with shit from anyone. So we sent in the Seals, and they kicked all sorts of ass. They rescued the captain, who’s pretty much fine, killed three of the pirates, and now we even have one under arrest who can stand trial. Additionally, it must be noted that the French also tried to rescue some hostages from pirates, but didn’t do nearly as well.

The pirates, understandably, aren’t taking this so well, and have issued some threats to both the French and Americans. This really isn’t the best course of action for them. If they were smart they would just take the beating they got and go back to preying on ships for Comoros or some other country that won’t fight back. The US and France will seriously fuck them up if they get too uppity. If they actually start killing Americans, they’re gonna have to deal with the wrath of the US navy, and their AK 47s really aren’t going to be able to compete with Tomahawk cruise missiles.

Speaking of the French, it’s important to note that they’re assholes. This has manifested itself most recently, and really fairly consistently over the last like twelve years, in their treatment of Lance Armstrong. They’ve dicked him around with bullshit allegations incessantly, and they’ve never been right; he has passed every drug test he’s taken. But now it’s possible that he won’t be able to compete in the Tour de France this summer, even though he’s racing to raise global awareness about cancer. Two things have been made clear by the actions these French assholes are taking. First, the French love cancer, probably as much as they love not showering. Also, they’re afraid of Armstrong. They know he won’t lose, and they don’t want to be one-upped by an American anymore. Let’s be honest, America has been doing things better than France since America first existed. We had a Revolution for democracy, and things went pretty well; the French tried to follow in our footsteps, and mostly just a lot of heads got lopped off, and the only decent French military mind since William the Conqueror ended up exiled in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Oh, and they went back to a monarchy. Later, America decided it wanted to fuck with Mexico, and we got a ton of land out of it. When the French tried to do the same, they actually lost, getting their asses handed to them at the Battle of Puebla. In the twentieth century, France is best known for getting steamrolled by Germany, twice (seriously, the Maginot line? Great plan, dickheads; Vauban would be terribly disappointed in all of you). America bailed them out each time. Now, America is a world power, and France is mostly just fading into irrelevancy; they’ve been passed as a power by a bunch of other European and Asian countries, their soccer team isn’t that good anymore, and the Eifel Tower isn’t really anything special. Pretty much all they have left is this bike race, and they’ve been trying to take it back after Lance Armstrong had made it his bitch for seven years; clearly they’re screwing around with Lance because their national pride is dependent on it. Well, fuck them, I hope he gets to race, cause you know if they let him in there’s no way he won’t win number eight.

So since the economy is shit, local governments are doing all sorts of crazy things to raise money. And it’s bullshit. Seriously, a streetlight user fee? That’s asinine. Streetlights are there to make streets safer. The purpose of a government is to protect its people. Really, the responsibility for this falls on the government. Stop sucking.

The Pope said Mass in the Coliseum on Good Friday, and spewed some nonsense about the world being a desert of godlessness. I ignored most of that. But this part was interesting. He said that there are “many societies in the world where women fail to receive a fair deal.” Um, would one of these societies maybe be the Church? You know, the one that won’t let women be priests. Maybe the Church should work on its own discrimination before criticizing anyone else. Benedict has been pretty clear in stating that he won’t permit women to be priests. It’s pretty much bullshit that there’s a sacrament that only men can receive (nuns don’t receive Holy Orders). How is that a fair deal? Maybe it’s not as overt as marrying your eight year old daughter off to some guy in his forties to settle some debts, but it isn’t not discrimination.

Finally, Woody Harrelson is the coolest.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Exchanging Lineups

A is for Ashburn
Whom I never saw play,
But loved on the radio
Joining Harry’s play by play.

B is for Brogna
My childhood hero.
Probably explains
Why I'm still such a zero.

C is for Cole,
Carlton reborn.
Two lefties leaving
The batter forlorn.

D is for Dallas Green
Played for both; K'ed nary a hitter.
Didn't stop there - -
For both, became a Skipper.

E is for Eisenreich
A rightfielder with pluck.
Had a powerful arm
And shit, bitch, ass, fuck!

F is for Franco
The first New York captain.
Fuck Derek Jeter
And the Yanks while we're at it.

G is for Gary,
Sarge and his hat.
Equally good
With a mic or a bat.

H is for HoJo
And the '86 Series.
Waiting to get back there
Is making me weary.

I is for Inky
And his mighty swing.
Joe Carter sure robbed him
Of that World Series Ring.

J is for John Olerud
Hit for the cycle - - how you like that?
They say that his swing
Was as hard as his hat.

K is for Kalas
The voice of the Phils.
His call of Game 5
Provides nothing but chills.

L is for Losingest
The very first season set the mark.
Even still, rooting for the Mets
Takes a lot of heart.

M is for Moyer,
The ageless wonder.
Looking for a fastball
Is quite a blunder.

N is for no No-Nos.
Bleeders, bloops, and frozen ropes,
Teams always hit at least one,
And I'm starting to lose hope.

O is for Owens
And Pat Gillick too.
To each man fans owe
A heartfelt “Thank you.”

P is for Piazza;
Most dingers ever for a 2.
Still wish Mike speared Clemens
With the broken bat he threw.

Q is for quaint,
Which the Vet never was.
But the roar from the top
Would give visitors pause.

R is for Rich,
As Lenny’s become;
Steroids or cash,
He has quite the sum.

S is for Stocker
His career peaked in ’93.
But I still have his rookie card,
It’s mint condition. Fuck me.

T is for Tug
A Phil and a Met.
Ya gotta believe
He’d be a safe bet.

U is for Utley,
World Fucking Champ.
Is an MVP next
For this loveable scamp?

V is for Valentine
And his Eye Black mustache.
Said Sayonara for Japan
And now is swimming in cash.

W is for Williams,
The Wild Thing, Mitch.
If only he’d never
Been brought in to pitch.

X is for Xavier
A short-lived, but great Met.
Brought a tear to my eye
When they sent him to Pitt.

Y is for Youth
Much of mine I passed
Watching the Phils
Struggle in last.

Z is for Zambrano,
Not the good one, but Victor.
Fuck you, Steve Phillips.



Dick and I wrote this, inspired by this Ogden Nash Poem. I wrote the first letter, and from there we alternated. We're both better at poetry than Winston. Baseball starts soon. Get excited.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Sunday Night Baseball

I was all set to write about this Barack Obama, Special Olympics thing that’s been going on. I was several paragraphs in, and it was really good. But I had to stop writing it. Something even more retarded was happening. United States vs. Japan, WBC semifinals. It was on ESPN. Jon Miller was calling the game. Joining him in the box? Joe Morgan and Steve Phillips, baseball's answer to Matt Millen and Mike Millbury. Get excited, everyone.

Derek Jeter is playing short. I understand why the Yankees do it: they don’t have anyone better. But Jeter is the third best defensive shortstop on this team, at least. Mark DeRosa is better defensively than Jeter, and he’s playing first. I’m pretty sure Evan Longoria played short in college, and he’s on the bench. But worst of all, Jimmy Rollins, gold glove shortstop, is DHing! If they really feel the need to play the Captain, why not have him DH, and let Jimmy play defense. He can go left.

Here are some things that Joe Morgan and Steve Phillips have said:
* Team USA is going to win because they’re mentally tough. Also, Roy Oswalt, the starting pitcher, added as an afterthought.
* Bottom 1st, 2-0 count, did they just cut Joe Morgan’s mic? I really think they did.
* Joe Morgan is talking about middle infielders being able to play other positions. I love it. Stick to what you know.
* Joe is comparing Adam Dunn to Ted Williams. VORPies everywhere are rejoicing.
* I’ve blocked them out at this point. It’s good to be back in midseason form.

I should respond to Gerber’s post the other day about David Wright. I’ll give him credit for playing hurt, he’s American hero, and seeing him knock in Jimmy was harmonious. In two weeks he’ll go back to being a fascist pederast.

McDonalds is advertising on Japan’s batting helmets. Seriously.

Top 3, Jeter grounds up the middle, Japanese shortstop goes to his left, throws Jeter out, making the captain jealous.

Fukodome really isn’t a good defensive center fielder: misplaying the Wright double off the wall and the Jimmy single in the first. Him being an all-star last year was a joke.

Bottom three: really nice play by Wright fielding a bunt, Scott Rolen esque. No joke, it was just really nice. Cue text from Dick: “somebody suck David Wright’s dick right now!” Oh, and then he throws the next ball into right field. He must have been distracted.

“Slidepiece” – Steve Philips, bottom 4. That means it’s baseball season.

America is losing, though they could have had a much better team. Real Team USA lineup, cause I’m bored:
Rollins – SS
Wright – 3B
Utley – 2B
Teixeira – 1B
Braun – LF
McCann - C
Sizemore – CF
Markakis – RF
Rotation of Hamels, Halladay, Sabathia, and Lincecum, with Lidge, Nathan, and Papelbon in the bullpen. Iannetta, BJ Upton, Mark DeRosa, Evan Longoria, and Josh Hamilton on the bench. Charlie Manuel managing.

JRoll works a walk top five, after being down 0-2. He’s an American hero, 2-2 with a walk. Right after that, David Wright strikes out looking, proving once again that he hates America. When asked for comment after the game he was unable to speak, seeing as how he was choking.

Wrigley Field was built for a Federal League team. Just saying. Also, I’m looking into reports that dinosaurs were actually made up by the CIA to discourage time travel. Carl Everett hasn’t disagreed with this.

I pay much better attention when the team I’m cheering for is winning. America winning: riveted. America down, but threatening: watching, but with music playing. America down, Japan batting: game on in the background, reading about Tamerlane.

No Met has ever thrown a no-hitter. I’m terrified that will change this year. Ed Wade is still in charge down in Houston, the Astros will probably be no hit a couple times this year. But he’ll probably also trade Roy Oswalt to the Phils for Travis D’Arnaud and a veteran middle reliever.

How many HRs would Sadaharu Oh have hit over here? 500? Fewer than that?
Matsui averaged a homer every 16.58 at bats in Japan, and one every 25.82 over here, for whatever that’s worth. I mean, you still have to factor in things like his natural decline with age. Bill James should tackle this, not me.

Actually, after looking, someone did. This guy says 527. I think that may be high, especially considering he would have started his career in the 60s, when pitchers were just steamrolling. But since this guy did math, I’ll defer to him.

Jimmy, top seven, stand up triple. 3-3, BB. ‘Merica. Stranded as Wright goes down swinging on a 55 foot pitch. If Al Qaeda had a flag (assuming they don’t) it would be blue and orange.

Joe thinks the US should bring in some minor league pitchers. I’m not here to disagree with him. I say we should have gotten Stephen Strasburg into this tournament, and just unleashed him. He’s clearly heads and shoulders above the competition he’s facing at SDSU, and I really want to see him. Triple digit velocity, he’s gonna tear shit up in the pros. Barring Mark Prior Dusty Baker stuff.

Bottom 8, runner on third, two out, ground ball in the hole to short, Jeter fields it, throws high and wide, runner safe, run scores, three run deficit. Now things are really falling apart, it’s 9-4, but most importantly, all Jeter’s fault. He’ll be leading of the top of the ninth.

And we’re back. Yu Darvish on the mound, Jeter at the plate. Yikes. 6-3. One out. Darvish has a weird delivery. Not Nomo weird, but there’s an interesting little hesitation there, or something. He’s young, too. I wonder how much the Yankees and Red Sox are gonna offer up as posting fees. Jimmy got another hit. 4 for 4. As Jon Miller said, “Jimmy Rollins has played like a World Fucking Champion tonight.” I may not have gotten that quote exactly right. Wright struck out though. That’s his third strikeout. KKK? I don’t think that David Wright has ever denied being a member. Something to consider. And Adam Dunn makes the last out, crushing American hopes. Where is baseball’s Mike Eruzione?

Finally, because I wrote it already, and I would hate for it to go to waste, here’s something I had to say about this whole Special Olympics thing: And now they want Obama to hire a Special Olympics athlete to work in the White House. Wasn’t eight years of Bush enough for them? Suck it, Jay Leno.

Friday, March 20, 2009

The 'Merican 'Mazins

Since it seems as though this blog unabashedly favors the Phillies (and I've lost many hours of sleep attempting to find Mets stories to right this ship - - without success) I am jumping at the opportunity to post this tidbit about David Wright.

Basically, Wright played through what he thought was a broken toe (X-Rays ended up being negative) during the WBC game against Venezuela even though the game meant squat dick to team USAs overall success in the tourney.

Now, as a Met fan, am I pleased about this? Not fully. I'd rather him be healthy for a full season that matters. However, he says he would have played through this in the middle of the season, too. And he knew that the only healthy replacement on the bench was catcher Brian McCann.

So even if Wright loses a game or two from this display of manliness (and it doesn't look like he will) could I really be upset that he chose to represent help out our national team? Well considering I made apologies for Rey Ordonez and Luis Lopez after they both missed games from injuries that resulted from a fist fight on the team bus that broke out over a glove - - no, I can't fault David for loving 'Merica.

PS - How did we not have a 'Merica tag yet? For shame!