Groundhog Day?

In the week or so since Dick decided to get back into writing here, I've been looking for something to write about. Unfortunately, I haven't really found anything that interests me, so I've tried to figure out why. And the conclusion I came to while scouring Newser.com for something to write about was this: pretty much everything is the same as it was two years ago.

Maybe that's pessimistic, and admittedly it's pretty hard to discern progress without some amount of hindsight, but seriously, look at what's happening now:

• Sarah Palin has unleashed her inner media whore, and the media (and no one else) is following breathlessly.
• Lance Armstrong is being accused of using steroids in a bike race that happened almost a decade ago (I'd appreciate it if someone would let 60 Minutes know that no one, probably not even Lance Armstrong at this point, cares about professional cycling).
• Some global panel has declared that the War on Drugs has been a bust (seriously, I need to find a way to get paid for telling people things that everyone has known for at least fifteen years). No one wants to get rid of drugs, people who make drugs (alcohol and tobacco companies) just want to get rid of the drugs that other people (minorities) make. What drug you're using isn't of any interest to the government, they only care about whose drug it is.
• Shaq retired (I thought he died in 2007).
• Democrats and Republicans are accusing each other of distorting facts and engaging in demagoguery (how else is anyone supposed to get elected when people like my brother, who told me the other day that the number of members of the House changes, are allowed to vote?).
• Seriously, this Octomom lady, the one with the cavernous vagina, still has her name in the news.
• The Supreme Court is still protecting Bush Administration officials from any sort of retribution for how they raped America (and I still can't figure out where there are still people out there who value the opinions of Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, John Ashcroft, and Karl Rove, as if all of their theories of governance hadn't been empirically proven to be abject failures over eight years).
• Some dumb cooze is denying that the naked pictures she took of herself are her (but really, she should just embrace them, she looked good).
• Shit, people are still talking about the vapid whore with the ass, the one that Ray J pissed on.
• The Phillies are better than the Mets.

So what's actually happening that isn't a boring retread of things that have been covered ad nauseum over the last two or three years? Well, there's the shocking revelation that Frank Sinatra took twelve showers a day. I guess that's interesting. Meh. Someone in government has finally started trying to do something about the disgustingly racist sentencing disparity between convictions for possession of cocaine and crack. I guess it's refreshing that Obama is being criticized for his "European ways"; I mean, the underlying complaint is still that he's not American enough (because he's black), but it's a nice break from the Kenyan agitation and Islamophobia.

So really, what is there to write about that hasn't already been beaten into the ground? Oh well, I guess I'm not one to talk, I wrote this while listening to Blink 182 and SR-71.

Things I've been thinking about while not writing

Is there any better way to start a post than by talking about dinosaurs? Nope, didn’t think so. TIME has an article online about how they died, adding another voice to the chorus of people claiming that an asteroid was not responsible for the mass extinction of the dinosaurs. This article doesn’t really offer an alternative theory, but does present a lot of geological evidence in support of its thesis. I guess this adds weight to the volcano theory, which the geologists mention towards the end of the article as a possibility.

In her most recent online column, Ann Coulter continues to show how, um, special she is. She attacks Manhattan for being “traitorous,” attacks Janet Napolitano for warning against right wing extremists, and, in my favorite statement of this week, describes liberals as having “absolutely no morals and yet are ferociously judgmental.” Now, I could go on probably forever about how this last sentence is a pretty clear case of the pot calling the kettle black, but that wouldn’t show just how terrible a person Coulter is. Instead, I’m just going to tell you what this article was about. You’re probably thinking it’s got something to do with homeland security, probably that warning that was sent out across the country warning about conservative radicals. Well, you’re wrong. It’s her obituary to her mother. She fills it with so much hate and anger directed towards Democrats it’s just scary. I think something might be wrong with her.

After last night, I kinda feel bad for any baseball fan that isn’t also a Phillies fan. Seriously, this team is amazing; last night’s game just gives further evidence of that. The Phils got terrible pitching from their starter, Joe Blanton, and fell behind early. But then Ryan Howard launched a grand slam, tying the game at six. The Phils fell behind again, and again came back to tie it at seven. Then Scott Eyre came in to pitch the eighth inning, and all hell broke loose, leaving the Fightins down four after seven and a half. But the most fun team in baseball wouldn’t put up with that nonsense. Pedro Feliz, who didn’t start the game, got the rally going, and hits by Rollins and Utley followed, along with a sac fly by Victorino. Howard and Werth both walked, bring Raul Ibanez to the plate with the Phils down two. He got a first pitch fastball and unloaded on it, sending a line drive over the wall in right field for another grand slam. Madson came in and shut down the Nats, getting the save. All but one of the Phillies’ wins this year have been come from behind; in their sweep of that Marlins this weekend they won two games which they trailed heading into the ninth. It’s incredible; they’re getting terrible pitching and still finding ways to win. It’s just such a fun team to watch.

In other sports stuff, the Ducks knocked the Sharks out of the playoffs. What’s Joe Thornton’s deal? Even going back to his time in Boston, his teams tore it up in the regular season, but once the postseason started they just got steamrolled. It’s almost starting to make the trade that sent him to San Jose defensible from the Bruin’s perspective. Chicago beat the Flames, knocking them out of the playoffs; they’ll go on to play the Canucks, and the winner of that matchup will go on to lose to the Red Wings, who look absolutely unstoppable. Two game sevens tonight, with the New York Sean Averys looking to avoid choking away their series against the Caps, and Martin Brodeur looking to hold off the Hurricanes, who have looked surprisingly good. Both games should be interesting, if the Rangers don’t fold in the first ten minutes. Also, I’m sure some basketball stuff happened last night.

Alright, swine flu. What’s the deal with this? People are flipping out all over the place, Matt Drudge predictably fanned the flames over the weekend, and the number of reported cases in America is in double digits now. But are people actually dying from this? I mean, I understand that this is killing people in Mexico, but that’s a third world country without really any hospitals. We’re better than that. CNN has a story about a teenager from New York who had swine flu, popped two Tamiflu pills, and is fine now. So let’s stop flipping out about this; just wash your hands, stay away from Mexico, and stop whining. Also, if you’re Rush Limbaugh, stop blaming this on Obama. Seriously.

My favorite story in a really long time is this one from the Huffington Post. Yep, conservatives actually believe that Stephen Colbert is also a conservative. This is so incredibly dumb I just don’t know how to react to it. Seriously, I had to read that article like three times. I’m pretty sure that the people who believe Colbert is a conservative had ancestors who were eating babies in Ireland in the beginning of the eighteenth century.

Some Polish pianist is making waves today after he went on an anti-American rant at a concert in LA Sunday night, leading people to walk out of the concert. The guy is pissed that the US is installing a missile defense shield in Poland, because evidently he is in favor of a nuclear holocaust. The guy said he would never perform in the United States again. Good, I hope he never comes back. Fuck him.

The British are kicking a druid out of Stonehenge, though the guy has been living there since last June. Whatever, go for it. The only cool part about this is the guy’s name. It used to be John Rothwell, but in 1976 he had it legally changed to King Arthur Pendragon. The guy is clearly crazy, but that’s just an awesome name.