World #&*(^$@ Champions

In the wake of the Phillies’ World Series victory, Chase Utley took the stage at a post-parade rally to deliver a few remarks. He started, “World champions… world fucking champions!” The stadium erupted, his teammates loved it, and I still watch it on Youtube about once a day. Well, it was broadcast live, on pretty much every station in Philadelphia, without a delay. And some people decided to complain to the FCC. The Inquirer obtained copies of the twenty six complaints, and published excerpts of some of them. You can muddle through all that self-righteous bullshit at Philly.com, or just keep reading, and I’ll tell you what they’re really saying.

"If they didn't want such words to be broadcast, they should have aired [it] on a delay to catch any obscene language. Pull their license to broadcast."

Because about half a second of profanity was aired in the middle of the afternoon, NBC, CBS, FOX, and ABC should be razed, and their fields strewn with salt. Not only were they ok with Utley saying “fucking,” they probably told him to, and should never be heard from again.

"He should be disciplined for his lack of respect towards his fans and in particular the children exposed to such vulgarity. . . . The broadcasters are not at fault. Chase Utley is."

Chase Utley played through an agonizing hip injury for months to bring a World Series to Philadelphia. Although he’s only played for a couple years, he has Hall of Fame potential. That’s not enough for me though. Despite years of being a consummate professional, almost to the point of being boring, and working tirelessly to save abandoned animals, he is a disrespectful, vulgar bastard. The responsibility for raising my children is clearly on his shoulders, and he isn’t doing a good job.

"This was not a casual slip. This was an intentional misuse and abuse of the public airwaves. . . . How am I to explain such profanity to my child?"

(This one is my favorite.) I am a terrible parent. I am completely incapable of communicating with my children. Instead of using this as an opportunity to show them how you can be successful through hard work, like this team was, I’m going to harp on Chase Utley dropping an F bomb, for the second time this season, no less, and blame him when my daughter runs away to be a stripper and my thirty year old son is selling weed out of my basement. Damn you, Chase Utley.

"It was embarrassing that he was allowed to do that and if there are no ramifications I will be furious. Is there no platform that is sacred anymore?"

How dare they sully the good name of broadcast television, which has given us such cultural staples as Temptation Island, two wife-swapping shows, people eating horse testicles, Desperate Housewives, every soap opera ever, and pretty much all reality television? I expect nothing but excellence from network TV, and anything less should be punished.

Earlier this week Chase Utley tried to put this nonsense to rest, saying, “I tell all kids not to use that word. If they're 29 and they win the World Series, I think they can say that. But I definitely would say to all the kids out there, 'Kids, it's a bad word. Don't say it. And I'm dead serious.'’” I don’t understand why not everyone could have this approach. I wish I could say the the people complaining were Mets fans, but they probably weren't. I guess I wish people were smarter.