Exchanging Lineups: The Deleted Scenes

Here are some potential verses from Exchanging Lineups that didn't make it into the final poem. It's not that they weren't good enough. Maybe they were too good? Again, some were written by Dick, some by me, and I have to think it's pretty obvious who wrote which.

B is for Bowa
An angry shortstop.
Gold with the glove
But his bat had no pop.

C is for Carlos
Panamanian backstop.
Upped his game in the Series
Now the Phils are on top.

C is for Coste
He can hit and can write.
Despite years in the minors
Never gave up the fight.

D is for Drew
A worthless little shit
If only his face
A thrown battery’d hit

D is for Dutch
Though he is crazy now.
Travel through time
And help Mitch out somehow.

E is for Edgardo
Alfonzo and fewest errors.
His play at second
Made the 99 Mets all the better.

E is for Eckstein
His hustle and grit.
Who cares if he won’t
come through with a hit.

E is for Eyre
A midseason pickup,
Retiring lefties
With hardly a hiccup.

H is for Howard
And of course home run too.
The strike outs don’t worry me,
Nor should they you.

J is for Jimmy,
Cocky but great.
“Team to beat” are the words
That Mets fans now hate

J is for Jayson
And the balls he hits far
I hope my mom lets him out
Of the trunk of her car.

K is for Kruk
And his wondrous mullet
Like Superman’s cape
You don’t want to pull it

L is for Lidge
On the mound, top nine.
Strike three to Hinske,
Even Buck's call was fine.

M is for Moyer,
The ageless wonder.
Looking for a fastball
Is quite a blunder.

N is for Nunez,
Wes Helms and Dave Bell.
A trio of third basemen
Straight from baseball Hell.

P is for Pat,
He led the parade.
Not even with time
Will that memory fade.

P is for Pedro
In the field always scrappy.
His single in the seventh
Made the whole city happy.

Q is for Queens
Not where the Mets play
But rather their fans
All of whom are gay.

V is the Vet,
Years ago knocked down.
Count on a riot
When the Mets were in town.

W is for Wright;
His name and his swing.
His game, all-in-all,
Is a beautiful thing.

W is for World Series
The Mets and Phils both have two.
Whose team gets the next one?
Me or You?

W is for Williams,
The Wild Thing, Mitch
If only he’d never
Been brought in to pitch.