Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays

I really don’t like Twitter. I find nothing worthwhile in the idea, and believe that it is killing America. It also gives me headaches, especially when things like this become an issue. Because of Twitter users whining, pronouns are becoming an issue again. This shouldn’t be happening.

CNN gives the sentence “Everyone loves his mother,” and then goes into all sorts of things that people are trying to say instead of “his.” “His” is correct. “Her” would also be correct, and it doesn’t bother me at all if you use it. If you say “their” I’m going to lose respect for you. If you say “his or her” I won’t be able to take you seriously. And if you say “ip,” I won’t show you the courtesy of finishing the conversation; I’m going to have to be as far away as possible, because the profanity is going to be coming. Just choose one, his or her, and stick with it. No one whose opinion matters is going to think you’re a misogynist for saying “his;” instead, they’ll understand that you speak English well. We’ve managed to get through centuries without a pandering gender-neutral pronoun, and Twitter is no reason to change.

It’s a good thing that the world is in such good shape right now; our economic success is permitting the Illinois State Senate to tackle important issues, like Pluto’s classification within our solar system. A couple years ago people who have spent their entire lives in Astronomy decided that Pluto was not a planet, but rather had more in common with other dwarf planets in the Kuiper Belt, and should thusly be considered. And as much as elementary school mobiles would disagree, they were right. Pluto doesn’t revolve around the sun on the same plane as the other planets, and crosses Neptune’s orbit. It’s not very big, and is actually smaller than Eris, another dwarf planet. There’s really no good reason to consider Pluto a planet other than nostalgia. But the Illinois Senate isn’t going to put up with scientists’ nonsense, Pluto is going to be a planet because they want it to be, to hell with everyone else. Whatever, fuck them, I can’t really get as mad as I would like when politicians do dumb things anymore.

Since I’ve been writing about things that are dumb and things that make me mad, I feel like I need to close this by tying everything together, and write about something that’s both of these things. Or someone. Ok, Joe the Plumber. This is a little bit old, but it still bothers me. Joe is suing people. Putting aside my certainty that at some point in the last five years Joe has bitched about frivolous lawsuits and other right wing talking points, Joe is suing officials in the Ohio government for searching through databases for information about him after his dumb ass was made famous during John McCain’s desperate attempt not to seem out of touch with ‘Merica. Joe says he can’t plumb (that can’t be the right verb) because Democrats might say he did a shitty job just because he’s a Neanderthal. Er, a Republican. Now, it’s probably more likely that they would say he did a shitty job because he doesn’t so much have a plumbing license, but that seems to be irrelevant to Mr. Wurzelbacher. And as much as he sucks, his last name is fun to say. Not that that’s relevant. But yeah, so Joe is suing, claiming harassment and emotional damages and all sorts of other nonsense, and he may win, but really everyone is going to lose, because he’s found a way to stay in the public spotlight for just a little bit longer.