And we’re back. Again. At least I am. Get excited.

So it’s been a while. Here are some things that have caught my attention recently.

The guy who owns the Utah Jazz’ D-League team wants to stage a one on one game between Michael Jordan and Bryon Russell. He’ll make a donation to the winner’s charity of choice. Tremendously noble. But he thinks that this game should happen during halftime of his team’s season opener. Come on, how delusional is this guy? If Michael Jordan is going to play any sort of basketball game, I feel pretty comfortable saying that it won’t be during halftime of a Utah Flash game.

I drink almost exclusively from two cups. The first is a 7-11 GI Joe souvenir cup with Duke on it. I do have the entire set of four, but the Duke cup is my favorite. The second cup is a Phillies 2008 World Series Champions pint glass. To clear up any potential misconceptions about this glass, I didn’t steal it from a bar. At some point in the night I ended up with it, it became more of an effort to bring it back to the bar than to keep it, so I just brought it home with me. Again, not stealing. Brett Myers would understand. Also, GI Joe and the Phillies? Convince me I’m not an eight year old.

Moammar Gadhafi is saying things. I didn’t read this whole article, because it was boring, but one part of it jumped out at me. Gadhafi wants to get rid of the veto power that the five permanent members of the Security Council have. I hope this proposal goes all the way through, and then at the very last minute we veto it. Fuck him. Also, the capitalization of teleprompter in this article amused me. TelePrompTer. Weird.

I have a new favorite website: http://glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com/. The URL is a little bit misleading. No one is saying that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. I don’t know if Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. But Glenn Beck has refused to deny that he raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. So did Glenn Beck rape and murder a young girl in 1990? Probably. Fuck him.

Last week I met someone who claims to have “no emotions.” That just isn’t true. To quote someone who is almost certainly a genius, “it means that she’s so emotional that she can’t feel any one emotion over all the others at catastrophically high levels.” You shouldn’t be walking away from people like this, you should be running.

This story was pretty funny. This coach is setting a precedent that may come back to kick his ass, but it’s still a pretty stand up move. Nevertheless, I still think that Chip Kelly is an asshole, and will continue to think so until he revokes LaGarrette Blount’s suspension. Yeah, Blount hit a guy in the face, but the guy probably deserved it, and Blount apologized like right away. The guy he hit has accepted the apology, so Oregon should drop their self-righteous, draconian punishment and let Blount have at least some of a senior season.

Sunday is International Michael Vick Appreciation Day. (That may not be actually true.) He’s going to destroy the Chiefs. He was holding back during the preseason. He’s going to score like six touchdowns. Adjust your fantasy rosters accordingly.