Thumbs VIII: Roman Numerals Are Cool

Thumbs Up: Summer. It’s the greatest. It just has absolutely everything anyone could ever want. Seriously guys. Summer.

Thumbs Down: The McCain family. Like, three generations of them. I don’t care what any of them think. John McCain hasn’t been interesting since 2002, his daughter has never been interesting, and I would have bet several vitals organs that his mother was dead. But they’re all consistently in the news. I don’t care if Meghan McCain thinks Karl Rove following her on twitter is creepy. I don’t care what any of them think about Rush Limbaugh. Please, just go away.

Thumbs up: Transformers 2. Never has there ever in the history of celluloid been a better crafted franchise than the current Transformers genius that has seen fit to grace us with its divinity. Cars? Becoming robots?! You just get the fuck right out of here! There is absolutely no way that I don't not enjoy this movie! (Editor's note: We at SI hear that Michael Bay and Dreamworks are using any means necessary to promote their new movie. This is in no way related to the Thumb you just read.)

Thumbs down: The Preakness. Nobody likes a half-assed effort. Pimlico is a hellhole, but for years it was an unabashed hellhole. It was striving to be the greatest hellhole among the hellholes; the lowest circle of the hell; the leg of the Triple Crown with the longest and wettest run of the Port-o-Johns. But now they've pussied out, and are not letting anyone bring their own booze in, thus negating the entire reason why anyone would pay $55 dollars, wait in line at 8am, and stand in piss, beer, and (probably) semen for a horse race. 'Tis a shame.

Thumbs Up: Sleeper Sitcoms. As the new TV season winds to a close I thought it might be time to honor those shows that refuse to die. Sure, we’re all excited about The Office, Lost, and Scrubs, but did anyone know that According to Jim was still on the air? Seriously. New episodes. I wouldn’t watch it myself, but bravo for outliving the ‘God took the wrong Belushi’ jokes. And Two and a Half Men? How did that become everyone’s favorite show (in syndication on at least one additional network plus new episodes) when no one I know watches it regularly? Today I salute you, cockroaches of the sitcom world.

Thumbs Down: Megan Fox. Not for any particular reason. Maybe I just want to be the first man to publicly turn her down. Actually, now that you mention it, I am kind of sick of her being lauded as the-next-female-action-star and the-next-Angelina-Jolie. Personally, I think she’s got a weird face (I never thought Angelina was anything special either, so maybe they got that right) and from what I understand, from browsing her Myspace page not too long ago, she’s dumb as a brick and not too shy about it.