Like I needed another reason not to like the Red Sox

So Manny Ramirez was suspended 50 games for testing positive for steroids. Let’s be honest, he was probably cheating in ’04 and ’07. Whatever. David Ortiz and Jason Varitek were almost definitely on steroids too. I don’t care. The Phillies still won in 2008. See:



Haven’t posted that in a really long time. Still great. Anyway, it was pretty fun to read Bill Simmons today. I’m pretty sure he spent most of today fighting back tears. But really, this isn’t a big deal, and Manny will still almost certainly get into the Hall of Fame eventually. But if they let in all these steroid users, and they’re going to have to, I really want to see Shoeless Joe and Pete Rose in there. Also, what the fuck, how is Jose Canseco never wrong about anything?

Lots of other things have been happening, but since I’m stuck in the middle of exams I feel like I’m missing everything. Some stuff is just too omnipresent to avoid.

Bristol Palin seems to be just as narcissistically attention-seeking as her mother, and is pretty much dominating the internet with her abstinence campaign. Yeah, good luck with that. I’m sure if they get Shawn Kemp on board they’ll really change some lives. Is she really being held up as a role model?

Somebody on TV said that Joe the Plumber was leaving the Republican Party. I don’t know if I’m more surprised that the GOP is still around or that Joe is. I won’t miss either.

Jon Edwards is in the news a lot now too, I guess because his wife’s book is being released. And his lady friend wants a DNA test for the kid. Yeah, this is something else that I just don’t care about.

Um, Kiefer Sutherland headbutted someone? That’s actually pretty cool. Sometimes people just need to be headbutted.

People still seem to care about Miss California. I still think the woman that won was hotter.

Mormon’s baptized President Obama’s mother after she died. That’s weird, but not a big deal. I can’t imagine that’s something that God is really gonna be bothered by.

Some people are pissed off that Michelle Obama wore shoes that cost more than five hundred dollars. Fuck that, she’s a millionaire, she can afford them, good for her.

Brett Favre isn’t going to play for the Vikings. At least that’s what he’s saying this week. Next week, who knows?

The Marlins keep losing, making instant-history ESPN hosts look even more like assholes. It’s a shame they couldn’t play all 162 games against the Nationals. I know it would never be ok, but I kinda wish MLB had relegation. The Nats are not a major league team.

Gary Bettman is fixing the NHL playoffs. You can’t convince me otherwise.

Seriously, Shoeless Joe Jackson needs to be in Cooperstown. Honestly, I kinda think that Roy Hobbs should be too.

Probably the best baseball movie that no one has heard of is Bleacher Bums, starring the brother from Everybody Loves Raymond. It’s basically just a group of people sitting in the bleachers at Wrigley making bets about the game. It’s incredible.

Solipsism is a pretty fun-sounding word.

Every time I ride the subway I think that might be the day I start my successful gypsy career.

I’m sick of hearing about Arlen Specter. He was fun for like twelve minutes. That ended.

I’m almost done with my first year of law school, I think that gives me a pretty good shot at being named to the Supreme Court.

President George W. Bush has been raising a ton of money for his Presidential Library. This only confirms that he probably is a really cool guy, just a terrible President.

I’m pretty sick of PETA. People need to leave Mike Vick alone. There are Superbowls to be won with him and Tim Tebow on the same team, on the field at the same time, co-running a double wildcat offense. It just sucks that Bill Belichik is going to be the only coach daring enough to give it a shot.

I recently finished Joe Morgan’s autobiography. It was awesome. He’s a terrible broadcaster, but a pretty cool guy. Some great stories in there, my favorite being that on the 83 Phils Gary Matthews would usually be taken out of the game around the seventh inning for a defensive replacement, because by that point in that game he was usually too hammered to play. Gotta love Sarge.

So yeah, there’s been a lot of news that I’ve barely been paying attention to, but I don’t feel like I’m missing much. Thumbs tomorrow, I promise.