Thumbs 7: A Day Late and a Thumb Short

Thumbs Up: Great Britain. This week the English released a list of about 20 people who they just wouldn’t let into their country. I think that’s awesome. Seriously, some people, like Fred Phelps, are just worthless, and there’s nothing to be gained by letting them in. Britain is on to something. Of course, this has stirred up controversy, as conservative talk show host Michael Wiener (not a dick joke, that’s Michael Savage’s real name! Ok, it’s also kind of a dick joke.) is on the list, and vows to fight it. I hope he wins, I don’t want him in my country.

Thumbs Down: Myspace. I mean facebook. It’s tough to tell the difference. Two of my friends are fans of weekends? Seriously? Who the fuck doesn’t like the weekend? Over 600,000 people are fans of laughing. Because I guess the other 7 billion people on earth hate laughing? People also need to stop taking those stupid fucking quizzes. I don’t care what STD you’re best represented by, or whatever. There seem to be fewer and fewer reasons each week to stay on facebook.

Thumbs up: Canadian hockey. HA! Hockey is the desert sucks after all! The Coyotes (formerly the Winnipeg Jets) are bankrupt and might get sold back to Canada. HA! A friend of mine once pointed out the lunacy of having hockey teams located below the latitude where ice naturally freezes. Hopefully this begins the recession of hockey back up North and the simultaneous recession of Gary Bettman.

Thumbs down: Blow Jobs. OK, I don't really mean that. But I'm trying to convince myself that I might. Someone recently put one of the more trying would-you-rathers to me: would you rather go the rest of your life without eating cheese (all types of cheese, from breakfast danish to pizza to fondue) or without getting head (sex is fine and so are HJs, but no dome shots)? I've now gone so far as to try to approximately quantify my marginal gratification from each occurrence. This could get serious.