If you hadn’t heard, Brett Favre and the Vikings play the Packers tonight, and people seem to think that it’s a big deal. There’s speculation that this will be the highest rated game in the history of Monday Night Football. Meh.
Since ESPN has essentially told me that as a sports fan I have to watch this game, I’m going to share the experience with everyone. And by everyone I mean Gerber. You still reading this garbage, Dick?
It’s now 8:11. The game hasn’t started yet, and I won’t watch the pregame show. Both ESPN and ESPN2 have essentially been airing nothing but Brett Favre all day today, so I’ve more than had my fill. So until kickoff I’ll watch hockey. Devils against the Rangers on Versus. Fuck both of these teams, but it’s hockey. And they probably won’t say Favre’s name.
One of the biggest casualties of the Brett Favre hysteria has been Ken Griffey Jr. Junior is one of the three best baseball players I’ve ever seen play (the other two being Chase Utley and Jimmy Rollins. Ok, or maybe Barry Bonds and Albert Pujols. But give Utley a few more years.), and may have played his last game ever yesterday. Seriously, this could be his last season. And I haven’t seen shit about it on ESPN. Yeah, Brett Favre was great and all, and I suppose he’s still serviceable, but Griffey, before he went to the Reds, was just the coolest. I don’t know of anyone who didn’t love Ken Griffey Jr. He was the second coming of Willie Mays, a pure five tool player who did everything so well. He was so much fun to watch. Seriously, he was just the best, and if this really is the end of The Kid’s career, somebody needs to be talking about it.
The Rangers and the Devils are still tied at two. I’m pretty sure that the Devils are going to be the most boring team in the history of hockey this season. The Devils, as a rule, are usually pretty boring, and they have been since I’ve been watching hockey. Now, they’re being coached by Jacques Lemaire again, the man who almost killed hockey with the trap. I don’t expect to ever see a Devil in the other team’s zone.
Just to be clear, I want the Packers to win today. I want them to destroy the Vikings. I want them to beat the Vikings so badly that the entire state of Minnesota is utterly demoralized for the rest of the season. I want Favre to blow the game by chucking up interception after interception. I would like to see Adrian Peterson take a swing at him on the sidelines. And I really, really want to see Brett Favre cry.
The Flyers have looked pretty decent so far this year. Pronger has been as advertised, an absolute beast, especially shorthanded. Seeing him and Kimmo kill off a two minute 5-on-3 at New Jersey Saturday was incredible. The Flyers take so many stupid penalties, it’d be nice for that not to kick us in the ass. JVR has looked pretty good too, with assists in both games so far. It’s early in the season, but he seems to have some nice chemistry with Giroux and Powe. Carter and Richards have both gotten off to good starts, with each center scoring a goal in each game. But two games into the season the best Flyer has been Ray Emery. It didn’t have much to do in Carolina, but he didn’t fuck up, so that’s nice. And he played really well against the Devils, making some incredible saves, and keeping the Flyers in the game when they went down two men early in the first period. Things won’t get any easier for the Flyers, as their next three games are against Washington, Pittsburgh, and Anaheim, but I think we’ll probably win all three of those games. I really don’t see this team ever losing. Especially once Giroux starts scoring.
Ok, it’s 8:35 and I’m being bitched at to turn off fun sports so my roommates can watch Favre. Jaws is telling us that Adrian Peterson is kind of a big deal. If the Vikings win this game, it won’t be because of Favre, it will be because he’s handing the football to the best football player in the world. No one will mention that tomorrow though. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre.
So you know what sucks? Drexel’s student newspaper. I didn’t read the whole thing, because it wasn’t very captivating. But here’s the impression I’ve formed from today’s issue and one issue from the very beginning of the school year. First of all, we need to look at the staple of any good college newspaper: the police blotter. The Drexel one sucks. It’s boring. Clinical, even. A car was broken into. No one needs to read about that. Where are the stories about RA’s busting pudding wrestling parties, or douchey kids getting pistol whipped? Maybe no one at Drexel is having fun. Who knows?
Kickoff just happened. My roommates refuse to watch with the sound off. So the Packers have a player named Jermichael. I’m kind of happy the sound was on so I could hear that.
The Steelers won yesterday, holding off a furious charge led by Philip Rivers. Ben Roethlisberger really is the opposite of Donovan McNabb. All he does in win football games. Donovan pukes. Roethlisberger is so much cooler. You know who else Roethlisberger is cooler than? Aaron Rodgers. The Packers were marching down the field, tight ends were literally hurdling defenders, and then that asshole fumbled. Shit.
Ok, honestly, you might as well stop reading this now. From here on out there’s going to be very little that’s not hate directed at Brett Favre and anyone or anything making him look better.
Ok, I spoke too soon. Turns out there’s something that bothers me even more than Brett Favre: this Mayan apocalypse nonsense. It’s not going to happen. Please, everyone, don’t worry about this. Also, don’t go see that movie. Honestly, if the Mayans were so smart, they wouldn’t have mostly died off more than a thousand years ago. They didn’t know so much.
I would very much like to meet someone who was a contestant on Legends of the Hidden Temple. I want to know what the Temple Guards were like when the cameras weren’t rolling. Still scary? Probably.
Favre to Shiancoe for a touchdown. At least that’s fantasy points.
Um, things do no look good for the Packers right now. I think Aaron Rodgers may have wet his pants. It’s a good thing they’re already yellow. Brett Favre.
JUMP PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. RODGERSSSSSSSSS. TEBOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Um, that was a touchdown from Rodgers to that Jermichael character. It was pretty cool. Also, not technically a touchdown, but The Favres didn’t challenge the play.
The Favres just went three and out. Fuckers.
Big baseball game tomorrow. I’m rooting for the Twins. Why? Because I want to see Carl Pavano face the Yankees in the playoffs. Excuse me. I want to see Carl Pavano shut the Yankees out. And he will. It’s destiny.
Brad Childress managed to now throw a challenge flag in time. He and his assistants couldn’t get it out of his pocket. Let’s throw this on top of the growing collection of anecdotal evidence suggesting that Childress really isn’t a good football coach.
Brett Favre hits a wide open guy. “What a throw by Brett Favre!” He’s gunslinging. Now a touchdown to some guy that isn’t Shiancoe. My fantasy team isn’t impressed. The Favres are up 14-7.
So the Penn Bookstore doesn’t have a single book about Peter the Great. That’s pretty bad. I mean, shit, he’s one of the three most important people in Russian history. But I guess they need the space for books with Palin on the cover (not even her fucking book!).
So Sampdoria is tied at the top of the Serie A table with Inter? That’s pretty crazy. But come on, there’s no way they last. Kinda have to figure that Inter and Juve will finish one and two, with Fiorentina third, and any number of teams, hopefully including Roma, competing for fourth, and the last spot in European play. Totti had two goals Sunday. He’s so fucking good. Brett Favre.
It’s almost halftime. The Vikings have the ball, and they’re driving down the field. The game is tied. That’s how you liveblog.
Brett Favre was just intercepted in the endzone, but the refs bailed him out with a bullshit pass interference call. AP runs it in the next play. I think that maybe the refs may be slightly favoring the Vikes slightly. They’ve already ignored a couple holds, now a very dubious pass interference.
“It’s been great what Brett Favre has done for the city (Minneapolis) and the organization (I can only assume he’s talking about the SS).” They’re actually showing highlights of Brett Favre practicing from like sixteen years ago. I swear to God.
I’d like to take this paragraph to remind everyone that Glenn Beck still has not denied that he, Glenn Beck, raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. No one has refuted the assertion that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. Just saying.
First half ends on a failed Hail Mary. Come on Packers, God is clearly on Brett Favre’s side.
And Kid Rock welcomes us back to the game. I swear they’re doing everything they can to get me to switch to RAW.
Another Favre touchdown pass. Al Harris looks bad. I’ve never been able to understand how he’s been a starting CB since leaving the Eagles.
I’ve pretty much lost interest in this game, so I’m going to post this and start reading Brett Favre. I mean evidence.
