Commemorate This

Who decided that plates and coins were the way to shamefully profit from, er, excuse me, I mean 'commemorate' historical events? With the inauguration at hand, the National Historical Society has been advertising its Obama flatware. I have to wonder, why a plate? It's never going to be used as a plate. Food will never be served on it and it will never be stacked in a cabinet or tossed in the dishwasher. It's an awkwardly shaped, three dimensional picture, one that can't be hung on a wall without a special mount.

Money makes even less sense to me. Especially when it's ugly, over sized, "official Liberian currency" that celebrates the eighth anniversary of the September 11th tragedy. Seriously? Who the hell wants Liberian currency? Do Liberians even want Liberian currency? I bet they'd rather have Euros. And why would anyone want to buy what is essentially a 9/11 trading card? Honor the date and remember those that were affected by its events, but don't buy a World Trade Center flattened penny. It was a national tragedy, not a family vacation to Cape Cod.

So here is a short list of emblazoned and etched items I would like to see people hawking on day time TV instead of plates that aren't plates and money that isn't money. You know, things that people might actually want.

1. Plaques. Plaques just make more sense than plates and look a lot better when placed on shelves.

2 Beer Steins/Mugs. I guarantee these would see more use than Liberian currency and would definitely come in handy when toasting the new president.

3. Busts. Nothing says class like a bust on a book shelf. Why limit yourself to choosing between Ludwig Von Beethoven and Homer?

4. Cigars. Sure, the cigars are one-time-use only, but they would come in a kick ass presidential humidor.

5. Ceremonial Swords. On a day to day basis, probably about as useful as a plate or a coin, but a hell of a lot cooler to hang on your office wall. Also, you have the option of repelling ninja invaders.