This is it. It's happening. This is not a drill people. First zombies in Texas, now raptors in Indiana. I haven't read the Bible in a long time, but I'm pretty sure that dinosaurs are the second sign of the Apocalypse.
We're being attacked from the North and the South! We can't fight a two front war against humans, let alone a two front war against zombies and clever-girl raptors! This is the end! And I never made to another Super Bowl that the Giants won after last year! Damnit!
To be honest, I see no hope. I live no the second floor of my apartment building, and I will be retreating there to barricade the stairwell, fortify my apartment, and camp out with Molotov cocktails, but it's only a matter of time.
The only foreseeable escape is if we can train the zombies from the South to hunt the raptors in the North, pitting foe against foe, and praying that the collateral damage from the Second Zombie Dinosaur war doesn't kill off the human race anyway.
Hug your loved ones and grab you ankles - - rapture is here.
Klawchat 5/15/24.
2 days ago
1 comment:
Oh man, I love that you're spreading the word of our impending doom, but I'm worried about you. You're making so many mistakes, I fear you won't last long. First of all, don't barricade your staircase, destroy it. You can always use a rope ladder to get up and down. Zombies will be able to tear down the barricade, but if there is no staircase they would have to build a rampart out of dead bodies if they wanted access to the second floor. Molotov cocktails are also a dangerous proposition, as zombies are prone to running around after being set on fire, igniting their surroundings (your building). Finally, I like your idea of pitting one foe against the other, but you have it backwards. Zombies couldn't be trained to kill raptors; they're mindless killing machines, and they only have a taste for human flesh. Instead, you need to train the raptors to kill zombies. Not only will zombies die, but eating infected flesh may kill the raptors too.
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