PROGRAM ALERT!

At 10pm exactly, in typical do-you-know-where-your-children-are fashion, ESPN informed me of a program alert: "Sportscenter will be coming on next. Sportscenter will be coming on next. Sportscenter will be coming on next."

Can't fault a company for telling its audience that it's moneymaker is about to hit the booty-do, but let's look at this a little more critically, shall we?

This wasn't just 10pm on a Monday, this was 10pm during the Border War basketball match-up that was tied with about 45 seconds remaining. If some sports fan turned on ESPN at that point in search of our beloved and beleaguered Sportscenter (in other words, highlights and news about sport and great sports games), I don't think they would have been distressed to find a great sports game happening in its stead.

And if they were, two things would have happened. One, they could have clicked off for a second to see what was coming on Nick-at-Nite, and then switch back 5 minutes later (if they really were interested in getting their highlight fix).

Or two, they would remember that this airing of Sportscenter would be exactly like the one airing at 6pm and marginally, if not unnoticeably, different than every Sportscenter for the last 2 days and for seemingly the next 5 weeks - - A-Rod, A-Roid, A-Fraud, and A-Hole. On and on, ad infinitum. What were you really updating me on? "The same thing will be continuing shortly. The same thing will be continuing shortly. The same thing will be continuing shortly."